We wanted to find out about the intricacies of marriage, so we caught up with Jay and Stephanie who are the founders of a marriage blog and an instagram page called 'Young and Married'. Jay and Stephanie were 21 and 22 when they got married back in the summer of 2013. They are passionate about their Christian faith, each other and marriage. They also love to encourage others to have great relationships that are full of laughter and good times.
Kissing and laughter helps marriage
You would think we would have known this before getting married and it's kind of true we did. We knew that we loved to kiss each other and loved to make each other laugh. We didn't realise though that sometimes with the busyness of marriage and getting life ‘done’ you can sometimes forget to laugh and kiss each other. Almost at 3 years of marriage we aren't by any means experts, but we do know that when you make the effort to give extra kisses and make the other one laugh, it helps.
Marriage isn't like the movies
Duh, of course it isn't Stephanie. You think this is an obvious one, but to me it wasn’t. I had expectations that were just unrealistic. Marriage unfortunately isn’t a 90 minute romantic comedy, which took me a few weeks of marriage to figure out. I thought we would be on date nights every other day and I would always have a perfectly clean house with no dirty socks to pick up off the floor and I would always feel enthusiastic about cooking. No Sir. Real life kicks in once you get back from your honeymoon, and even though it's not always perfect like the movies it’s possible to have a marriage full of perfect moments. I'm glad I married my best friend because there is no one I'd rather have to share the mundane, routine AND the perfect moments with.
Marriage is the start
Stephanie and I were together for 3 years before we got married. We spent those years living over an hour apart. When we finally made it to marriage, part of me felt like we had finally got to the end of a long time of distance relationship. Which I guess is kind of true, however, now I see that marriage was just the start. All the love, pursuing and building of our relationship to the point of marriage still needed to continue. Great marriages don't just happen, they take work.
I’m really selfish
Gosh I knew I liked to do things for myself (haha) I just never realised at times in marriage I would really have to put his needs before mine. Sometimes in marriage you will clash on ideas or plans and sometimes you both can't have your own way at the same time. Someone has to budge. We have thankfully (after almost 3 years) got to a point where neither of us like the selfish side of us and now we bicker about who gets to be the one to compromise (haha).
Life isn't over
After getting married, I would chat to other girls that were single or dating and I was sad to hear that lots of them think you aren't able/won't want to do certain things when you're married. Like going on a girls holidays or having the freedom to spend nights with your mates. NOT TRUE. Marriage in fact gives more freedom. Freedom to go out more and do fun things (because hey, you now don't just have your money, you have his money to do things with too). Honestly though, it’s healthy to have time apart and healthy to do spontaneous things. Marriage isn't a ball and chain its the start of a fantastic life.
Authors - JAY & STEPHANIE RICHARDS